A little light relief for a Thursday – The Onion’s report on how kidnappers now account for 93 per cent of newspaper sales…
“According to a source who wished to remain anonymous, there is an ineffable quality to the printed page that kidnappers cannot get from its digital counterpart. Though there are other methods for proving the date of grainy, home-made videos, the source said that newspapers add a certain gravitas to abductions that news websites do not.”
According to the Onion, newspaper groups are now targetting kidnappers with their advertising, with recent spots including a popular ski-mask manufacturer and real estate ads for abandoned warehouses.